BLUEBONNET

Loss is inevitable. Perpetual. Unyielding and uncompromising. Indiscriminate and insistent. Loss demands our attention–– that we care for it with vigilance and vulnerability. Loss dares us to keep living fully in spite of it. In the hours, days, weeks and months after my friend, brother, collaborator and musical co-conspirator took his life, loss seemed to be everywhere. It came on tour with me, unfurling itself in the long winding roads of Colorado and Utah; loitering in the lyrics I jotted in my notebook; manifesting itself into magnificent mountains of magenta in the Southwest. Loss blossomed in the most brilliant of bluebonnets back home in Texas where we grew up together. Shuffled alongside me on city streets when I returned to New York. Sat in on writing sessions, side gigs and social gatherings. Loss turned itself into language and taunted me with the sentences that were now impossible to speak.  

Peering into the vastness of this loss I was stunned and spellbound by the sheer velocity at which a heart can break while trying to reconcile presence and absentia.  There, in the void of what once was and what no longer is, I began searching inward and, in my solitude, I found myself.

This album is a dedication to Barney and the culmination of the life, music and experiences I cultivated after losing him. More accurately, it is the making good of my promise to him to keep playing, keep growing, keep collaborating, keep loving and keep living. In the face of your losses, may you do the same.